The Glitterbois Play Rifts #008: Chihuahua with a Shotgun

Breakfast puppies.

This podcast contains adult language and content and is meant for mature audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

This is Riley. I Just Want to Go Home. And I guess y' all are listening to Glitter Boys.

Okay, everyone, roll your initiative.

Oh, here goes. Ooh.

Oh, Jesus, help me, God.

Two different responses from two different.

Better switch to the fight Cab here.

I'm like, why isn't it switching? That's because I'm on my laptop, and I was trying to touch the screen.

13 for Henry.

13 for Henry.

16 for Troy. You rolled badly, didn't you?

4.

Yeah.

23 for Mr. Cat.

23. Well, that's quite impressive.

Striking quick like a cat.

Wow.

He might run. You never know.

Running quick like a cat.

Okay, let's see. So Mr. Cat got the heist, right?

I believe so.

Of us, yes.

Yes.

Sean, what did you get?

16.

16. Henry 13. Oh, perfect. We're just gonna go around in a circle.

Does that mean the GM's starting or ending?

We shall see.

Well, I meant for you guys, actually.

Can't wait to fight Demon. Diane.

Mpc. Did you roll for Bronson?

Oh, I did not, but I can. I didn't have a sheet up. Let me pull it up, though. It's right here. I will roll for Bronson. And six to three. Seven. That's with his plus six bonus.

Damn.

Oh, Bronson.

That is a one, right? Or is that an 11? Nope, that's one. Okay. They have weird marks on them, so sometimes, Yeah, I ask, Is that a 1? When the 11 is right next to it?

We did have that fun moment in that other game I was mentioning recently with a brand newbie looking at the D20. How do I tell if this is a 6 or a 9? I'm like, oh, you sweet child.

In my day,

we don't call it cocked anymore.

That's.

That's problematic.

I don't know if I'm gonna leave

that in or not.

I want you to leave it in. I want you to leave it in.

You are outside the village of Ekt Bell. On an isolated farmstead was a dilapidated barn, which holds Riley in the hayloft and Torben on the ground floor below. Out in the fields to the east, Mr. Cat, Henry, Troy, and Bronson stand face to face with a woman in dark armor, armed, who just stepped out of a portal.

I believe she called us dead men.

She did. She said dead men. Sulfurous corpuscant is roiling off her body. And I believe I shared, at the end of last session her picture with you guys.

Yeah, you did. She Looks awesome.

Yeah. Her armor is covered in these luminescent patterns and sigils. Her eyes are glowing lurid green. And it is Mr. Cat's turn. She's dropped into a combat stance.

As a side note, this picture, I'm pretty sure one of her boobs has Darth Vader on it. Well, it might just kind of like. Oh, yeah. Neat. There we go. She has dropped into a combat stance.

Yes, but is she wielding a weapon?

Firearm.

Melee weapon.

She is carrying a bladed weapon in each hand, and they're out in a defensive pose in front of her.

Okay, so processing this. Is she pinging on any of my battle cat senses?

You can smell supernatural evil, right? Yeah, she smells supernaturally evil in a. The worst you have yet to experience. Even worse than Tarmac The Crucifier.

Ooh. Okay. And she's human sized.

She is human sized. Yeah.

Yes. Okay.

Weighing whether or not I should make the first strike. But she's also evil. She said we were dead. But I'm also scrupulous. So the dagger will understand. I'm just gonna leap. Well, hold on, let me think. Give me a second. Is the rift still open behind her, or did it close after she stepped through?

So it was a. Essentially a circular portal with a yellow energy outline open, and she stepped through. It was different. Very different from the rifts you've seen. Or I guess, actually only one of you have seen a rift, that being Kinray. But you would associate bluish energy kind of electricity, sort of with rifts, and it had none of those components.

Is it still open or did it close behind her?

It closed behind her.

Ah, there goes that plan.

You just punch her back through the room.

Bye.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm going to leap over her and land behind and do the nothing personal, kid. And stab her.

Yeah. Okay. Teleports behind you being stabbed.

Okay, so I have left behind her. Do I need to roll anything there? Or can I just, like, use my cat like, reflexes to do it?

Can't you jump a long ways?

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, do it.

I mean, I could also just move there because of the way palladium does speed, but, you know, it's cooler.

Very much.

It's so much cooler. And So I got five. Five attacks this round. Dagger time. Dagger time.

Mr. Cat vaults through the air, lands nimbly behind this mysterious woman.

Okay, with. With my bonus, that is a 13 to strike. Well, no, that is with my normal bonus, the dagger. I forget. Hold on. I have it. Does the. The dagger doesn't have Any bonuses? Does it?

It does not.

Okay.

Yeah, I don't believe so.

Yeah. 13 to strike.

She turns nimbly, attempting to parry, but you make it through her guard. Roll your damage.

Okie dokie. That's right. We did the damage boost.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's gonna apply to her too, though. Remember that?

1, 2, 3, 8, 30 damage. Oh, I get a plus 22 base damage. But I rolled a 1, a 1, a 1, and a 5.

Yeah. The dagger slams into her. She shrieks, stumbles backwards. The wound that's left is glowing with this white light. There's almost this energy that flows up the Dagger of Rostam. Destroy her, echoing in Mr. Cat's head.

I thought he'd approve. So can I possibly turn that into a leap back as well, or does movement end with attacking?

I. I think it's fine if you leap back. Yeah. Yeah. And so Mr. Cat leaps in, stabs, leaps back.

Well, not. Sorry, not back, but backwards. So I'm on the other side of her. Yeah.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Leaps backwards out of her immediate striking zone. And Sean, it is Troy's turn.

That was a lot.

That was a lot.

Mr. Cat, you've got this, buddy. Troy's just gonna take about 10 steps backwards, kind of plant his sword in the ground, and take a moment to soak this all up. I am actually also initiating intuitive combat, but it takes a whole round to turn it on. So I'm just soaking in this moment, trying to shake off funk. Yeah.

Taking a sad knee.

Yeah, Alex, Troy just took a sad knee.

It is Henry's turn, as Henry's metal head swivels back from seeing Troy do this. And of course, being wowed by Mr. Cat's acrobatic, I'm pretty sure Mr. Cancel. Be that as it may, I'm gonna just like. Well, I assume you're going to say what I think you're gonna say, Gershkoff, and that this lady's bad news. Yeah.

Has been yelling at you in Russian ever since this lady appeared.

Awesome.

All right, so I'm gonna run up to this. This lady and give her a nice little. Give her a nice little. We're gonna give her a robotic kick. Start out simple.

I was gonna say you could just join me with that leap kick.

My only thought is that, what if I kick her into.

You

leaped back for a reason. All right, that's gonna be

19.

And you did a kick.

Just a regular robotic kick.

Henry surges forward with a kick. She spins smoothly around, having rolled a natural 20 on her parry knocks the leg to one side. And then she is going to take an action and attack Henry since he is the closest to her.

Thanks, buddy.

He just stormed in there. She's going to hit you on an 18.

Bogus

20.

Oh, that is enough. You knock away her guitar that she comes in to stab you with the other. She spins and hurls at Mr. Cat. And that is a 25 NPC.

Can you parry a thrown weapon or do you have to dodge?

That's an interesting question. I actually had not thought about it. I would say, since it's like a throne. She's throwing a guitar, so it's relatively slow, so you could parry it if it were a bullet. Unless you had some special ability or something. Probably not, but yeah, you could parry it in this case. Sweet.

You said a total of 25.

25.

Okay, I need to get a 15 or higher. I'm gonna spin a heroism and reroll that. I got a 14. I need a 15. Motherfuck. That's a 14 again. Oh, my God. Double 14. No. I get hit.

That's what the gods want.

Yeah.

This guitar slams into your breastplate, which I assume is where you want to take the hit. I would prefer that you take 24 points of MDC damage.

Okay.

It's this dark, smoking weapon, and then it. You can feel it just pressing against your sternum. Then it blinks away and is back in her hand. She looks at all of you, raises one of them, and flies straight up into the air.

Well, that's. That's pretty awesome.

Okay, bye.

Can I ask another quick rules question?

She is flying towards the bar. Yes, you may ask a quick rules question.

I'll make. I just. I just happen to come across it and it never gets rolled. Roll with punch. When do you use that in conjunction with getting hit or when can you use that?

Yeah, you can use it in conjunction with getting hit. It takes an action, but. Yeah, you can, and it does.

It just. Is it. Is it this system where it just cuts the damage in half?

Yep, I believe so.

Could I have rolled with that?

I would say you could roll with punch on anything. That would make sense for you to be able to, like, roll with the punch to. To reduce some of the damage. Getting, you know, impaled by a throw.

Less with stab.

Fair.

Yeah. And not so much.

But a big sword hit or a kick or an explosion. We could maybe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really?

I guess anything that's doing essentially bludgeoning damage would be a good rule of thumb. And she flies up into the air, angled towards the barn. It is Bronson's turn. As Bronson cannot fly. He's just shouting at her, barking and running below her on the ground. So Jacob Riley sees this dark, armored, glowing green eyed woman flying towards him where he is in the barn.

Roughly how far was the combat in the field from the barn?

I know that I. I believe I said in the last episode the actual

distance, but I. I think it was like 100ft. That sounds, if I remember correctly, how soon? Probably wrong, but I think it was like 100ft.

We're gonna say about it's about a hundred feet away.

I'm less concerned with how soon she'll be there and how soon you'll be there.

Yeah, it's a hundred. We'll say it's 100ft away where she started.

I'm gonna try to peg her in the air with my bulks as she comes flying in.

Okay.

Well, I might have actually hit, surprisingly enough. Oh yeah, that's an 18.

Okay. She is going to. That's a range detect a gun. So it's actually dodge lasers like minus 10, 10 or something.

Yeah. If we're going by the rue or. Depends upon how far away she is. It might only be minus five.

We'll go with. I'm not gonna bother to look it up.

Okay.

She rolled a one in any case, so.

So with a minus five. No.

Yeah, yeah. Jake, roll your damage.

That's freaking pitiful.

One mdc, does that by chance have any kind of a stun effect?

Nope. It's a straight classic Wils 320.

It clips her shoulder. She does not pause at all though. You see her eyes narrow at you. Do you have MDC armor yet?

You know, I mean you are in

a barn, but I mean.

Yeah. So it is Mr. Cat's turn. She is flying through the air. She will. She's flying quite fast. She will definitely easily be at the barn on her turn.

Okay, well. Well,

I mean both you and our armored friend over here can move very quickly. You just need to catch her before she gets the squishy.

I'm gonna run into the barn. Cause I have a feeling I know where she's going.

Oh, that hole in the ground.

Yep.

I forgot about the hole in the ground.

Yeah. And your speed is pretty high, so that should not be an issue.

I have a speed of 30.

Yeah, yeah. So you can easily make it to the barn. You tear across the field, slamming through the door onto the ground floor. Are you going to any part of the barn? In particular.

Oh, yeah. I'm gonna go on top of the door.

Oh, okay.

Trapdoor.

All right.

Just kind of leap and land on top of it, crouched, ready to leap again.

It'll be funny if she breaks that door with her MDC weapon and you fall inside.

I mean, it will be.

Them's the brakes, Sean. You just saw Mr. Cat tear off towards the barn where the dark lady is obviously going. What is.

Oh, I think I said, still bringing it all together. It's a lot, but I will if I can. As a kind of action without breaking my meditation. I just kind of smile at. At Bronson and toss him my shotgun.

Yeah, you could do that. Well, actually, Bronson. Oh, Bronson was. He's. He actually ran.

Did he follow her even though he couldn't reach her? Of course.

Too busy looking up.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, he's pretty fast too.

I'll wander in that direction.

No, he's faster than me. Wow. Sorry.

It'd be a great comedic beat if he was running by. You threw a shotgun at him, and he just fucking glanced off him as he kept running.

I mean, he's a dog. There's a high chance he's just gonna

catch it with his mouth.

Yeah. Henry Troy is ambling towards the barn while everybody else is running.

I've had this ability since the first game, and I haven't used it. All right.

I'm seeing this all shake out. I'm seeing this lady fly away. I internally turn to Gorshkov, say, Gorski, G Man, help me out on this one. Crouch down, feel the booster start to flare up. I fucking leap through the air, and I'm gonna try and Robotic flying kicker, knock her right out of the sky.

I love you.

I mean, do you wanna. I'd say if you wanna knock her out of the sky, you could attempt like a body block tackle.

I was thinking about those options because that would definitely.

All right, so the body block tackle is a pretty heinous attack. The things that it does to you, if you. Does to the victim, if you succeed, are worth it.

I won't lie. My bias is towards MDC damage, but I love the aspect of stopping her in her tracks.

So.

Same concept, boosting up, jumping through the air. And I'm going to fucking try and bear hug her.

Okay.

No, it does, of course, count as two melee attacks, but roll your.

And if you roll. Crap reroll.

Oh, that's gonna be heroism. More than.

I rolled a five, so.

Yeah.

Yep.

Let's burn a. I rolled a three.

You can keep Burning.

Let's burn. Heroism. All right, this is a cool thing to do.

Normally, at the end of the session, he's like, I still got points left.

And that's a four. It's not in the cards.

Wow.

Well, hold on.

I mean, what's your bonus?

Bonus?

Yeah, that would be a bonus first strike. That's four plus four.

So we'll go with the first roll

because the max would have been nine and I'm. Yeah, can. She would have to dodge. Can't parry a tackle.

So, yeah, she's going to have to dodge. Yeah, she's going to attempt. And she rolled a 12. So Henry Gorshkov says, engaged rockets flare. Henry launches off the ground on this intercept course. She turns, does this spinning pirouette where Henry just swoops right over her, reaching out, and his fingers are just inches away. And she's just barely out of reach. Henry goes past, slams into the top part of the barn. Splash. Splinters of wood flying everywhere, Hay somewhere. You hear like a bird screeching, maybe a squirrel. Henry slams through the second floor of the barn, down into one of the stalls. Huge burst of dust and dirt.

I mean, you caused her to waste an action.

I mean, you know what? Overall, it was still pretty cool.

It was very cool.

It's not very effective, Kyle. You're really, really trying to challenge my sound effects collection, aren't you?

What do you have for exploding bar?

No, no, no, I got it covered.

Search your sound. Yeah, that's right, the thread shot. Search your sound effects file for exploding barn. Oh, my God, they have one.

Now we just have to come up with a encounter that involves the spontaneous combustion of a donkey.

Got that covered. Actually, no, I'm pretty damn sure I got that covered.

She slams into the. Slams through the roof of the barn, crashes through like Henry did. The second floor, though this time, unlike with Henry more purposefully crashes into the ground in a classic three point stance, pulls herself up to her feet, looks around and utters words of magic. And everyone needs to roll a save versus horror factor. DC 16.

Even me, because I'm still at a distance. Or I don't know how Freud is

not because he's far enough away.

Poof. Ooh. 18

straight.

The dagger gives.

Yes.

Okay, that's an 18 four.

You need a. Yeah, this is not a great day for these Dice. Or this D20 at least.

Yeah. Jacob, what did you get?

Do you really want to know? It's two.

I. A two. Okay.

I still love it.

It's gorgeous. So the. The spell, horror Is cast in the barn. Everyone. It's a 70 foot aura. Anyone that fails, runs screaming from the target of the spell. The target being Vendra herself.

Does the target have to see?

You're gonna say the caster. No, you're gonna say the thing in the basement.

So the thing in the basement which was right at the door last time, would it have to make a saving throw versus horror?

It all depends on whether it's from.

I was gonna say eldritch realm.

It is not mortal.

That doesn't mean it's not afraid.

I don't think demonic dogs that barely have any sentience can be afraid.

Aww. I think immune to horror. Seems like a traded demonic dog. Probably.

Yeah, I tried.

I tried. You were on the same page, Sean.

Yeah, even the Highlander.

Oh, Bronson. Yep, yep. Hold on for Torbin Bronson. Poor dude. Let's see. I hope I calculated these correctly. Nope, he did not.

Unless.

Unless I can spend my heroism.

If you want to spend your heroism on Bronson, you may do so.

I'm gonna try that. Nope.

Bronson goes. Oh, Mr. Cat. And he runs back out the door. Follow me. Chomping through the field. You hear smashing wood as Henry bursts out the back. Henry doesn't quite know why he's running because he never actually, you know, was there to see Vendra. He was, you know, picking himself up and Riley, Jacob, I will say you can roll. I'll let you roll with the punch when you jump out of the hayloft.

Okay,

what about the birds that were in the loft?

Oh yeah. Just like.

I'm sorry.

Animal that's in this barn is just streaming out of it. I'm sorry.

Except for one.

House rules. Barn owls are never failing. Horror checks animals that cause more accidents on farms a year than any other animal.

Yeah, there's a barn owl up there and it just turns its head and looks down like. What the fuck? Leave me alone.

So Riley takes four SDC jumping out of the barn. And Torben actually made the save. He rolled a 16.

So let's.

So he's standing beside Mr. Cat.

Whoa.

Hell yeah. Old man and eight foot cat.

Torben casts a spell. Of course, Mr. Cat does not speak magic, so he does not know what it is. But he raises his hands, invokes arcane power and a 50 foot long blast of magical fire streaks from him. And she gets hit. So do you guys want to roll? Torbin's damage. It's 3D6I.

I ain't rolling.

Sean, you haven't been rolling anything.

There's no way. There's no way. This barn is not on fire. I'm just saying. That's 12, 6.

Okay. It hits her square in the chest. Glances off her burst, rips through the walls and into a big pile of hay. The barn is indeed, yes, Sean, on fire. NPC. It is Mr. Cat's turn.

Well, okay, four left. You know, I'm pretty limited on the things that I can do. Don't have any cool powers. I mean, I got some cool powers, but nothing like immediately like, fuck you up kind of powers.

You just reconfirm she is evil and a demon.

Yep, yep, yep. Just looking at what the knife can do. She's not undead.

You're a cat. You can get into her lap and show your appreciation by digging your claws into her flesh.

Quick, show your asshole. It's a classic cat roll.

Another horror roll.

Yes. She might be immune to demonic fear,

but he's got a point.

Okay, so I'm on top of the thing and Torben's next to me. He is still standing there. Or did he move after he cast that spell?

He's still standing there. He thinks this is where we stand strong and, and fight her off. Not really understanding perhaps the gravity of danger that he's in it.

Was that before or after everybody, or most everybody ran out?

Yeah, he made his safe. So he's. He didn't really. He didn't really understand that everybody.

He was focused on her.

Okay.

Ran. Yeah.

So well, I'm going to try and tackle her.

Okay.

Okay. And I do basically a charge and slam. Actually, I'm not going to like, slam into my shoulder. I'm going to kind of leap and do my legs forward and try and slam and pin her down. That kind of body block.

Okay.

Wrestling move.

Hell yeah, brother.

25.

Ooh, that's good. She's gonna attempt to dodge. 19 is not sufficient.

Nice.

So that cost her another. We need to get rid of her action. She's dangerous. So every time she has to dodge is a win in my book.

So if that possibly could cause STC damage, she would take 26 of them from that hit. But the more awesome thing for our listeners who are not familiar with what this does, I think we did this in the very first combat we did. We did a massive pile down on tarmac.

So what's your, what's your physical strength?

My physical strength, I believe, is 36.

Okay. I will point out that it says, note characters and creatures with supernatural physical strength have an increased likelihood of knocking an opponent down. And inflicting greater damage. And I'm gonna say that also includes resisting the knockdown for those with supernatural physical strength, which she has figure.

Yeah, you knew that was coming, and you don't have supernatural strength.

What is the other? Oh, the body flip. That's the one that doesn't have all that attached to it. That's the one that should.

So I'm gonna roll her percentiles to see if Mr. Cat knocks her down. Well, she rolled a 97, so you do send her sprawling into the dirt of the barnyard. Sweet. Yeah. She skids backwards, leaves this huge groove in the dirt, slams into the wall. Her eyes flare. Now everybody else is running. She has actually used all her actions, either attacking or dodging. So, npc, if you have actions remaining.

Oh, I do. So my next question then is, since she's already used all of her actions, what this does is causes you to lose initiative and inaction. Would that mean she doesn't roll next

round or she would.

Yeah. I would say she'd automatically lose initiative, though. I just realized Sean Troy did not run, so it is actually your turn.

Ooh, and she just pushed through the wall.

Yeah, but I'm stupid. Power takes a whole combat round. I literally have to do all of my actions, so I'm just closing.

Okay.

Yeah, it's crazy. You have to know you're about to get in a fight, I think is how you're supposed to use it, so.

And if anybody listening is confused about that. We have gone through multiple phases, but still we are only in one single combat round in which we remove all our attacks. And then once they're all done, then we start a new round.

Am I completely apathetic? Yeah, pretty blase kind of approach. Give anybody who's lean a chance to reroll horror. I'm just like, that bastion of, like, uncaringness. Maybe help somebody who snap out of the horror.

Henry, it's not that big of a deal, really, guys.

It's a nice thought, you know?

Okay, thanks for the thoughts and prayers, Troy.

So now that I am on top of her, I'm going to stab, and then I'm going to stab again.

Okay?

Okay.

First stab.

First stab.

Oh, that's good.

That's a 21.

So obviously she can't dodge, but I'm going to say she could still get her hands up. Parry your attacks. She rolled a 24.

Second stab.

She gets her vambrace up.

Second stab is another 21.

That is not good enough. That's a 17, so that one's gonna hit her.

I told you Mr. Cat had this.

The dagger of Rostam is flaring with this almost violent white light.

Interesting. 154. 37 MDC.

Okay. And you could roll your damage again.

Oh, nice much. Okay, so 12, 13, 14, 15, 42 MDC. I think at this point I'm going to start laughing as the God complex comes out.

Okay. And that is all your actions. So we're new round. Everyone can re roll their horror factor. Safe for those that failed it.

Oh, God.

You got this, man.

Yeah.

Okay. 19.

Jacob, did you not 7 Do you

want to use hair?

Was it? I think not.

What the.

No, no, I'm joking.

Yeah.

This is where I ehon to fly over the table, strangle you.

He wouldn't flee. Would he flee for the whole round or would he?

This is a new round.

Yeah, but I'm saying if you had failed, you'd be out the whole round.

Okay.

Yeah.

And certain versions, certain things that cause horror factor.

Bronson.

No, I was starting to say yes and I looked down the table And I saw NPCs look. And I'm like, I'm gonna troll them.

What is the target or the Horror save?

Yeah.

DC 16.

That's a lot.

We confirm a thing. It's a lot.

Yes.

I rolled a 15 natural. And I just can't believe that I don't have a bonus. That he doesn't have a bonus to that. Everyone has a bonus to save versus horror factor in the first book, don't they?

I think Dog boys sound like they should.

Yeah, right.

Bonus save to horror.

It's pretty common.

Now this is a spell, so magic save bonuses would also apply.

Oh, okay. Well, in that case, he passes.

Okay. Bronson stops Mr. Cat and turns and starts running back.

I find it adorable that he thinks of me.

So it's a new round. So because she got knocked down, she's gonna lose one action automatically. For this melee round, Dog boys do

not get a save versus horror effector. But bonus.

I don't get a save to anything save. Bonus to anything.

Wow.

Jacob, did you reroll your safe?

Yes. And I rolled 17.

There you go. That's all you need. NPC it is Mr. Cat's turn. Still has her on the ground trying to stab her repeatedly.

Okay, keep going. Stab, stab, stab. You know, I've got this. This dice tray that is shaped like a cat and it says clickety clackity. I roll to attackity. And I'm gonna do that.

There you go.

25. Strike with the knife.

She's going to attempt to parry. 26. Come down. This hand in this black metal gauntlet grabs Mr. Cat's wrist and squeezes. You can feel the unnatural strength. And on that right arm, she has this vambrace with all these weird etchings into it and gems.

She did that in a Perry.

Well, yeah, but that's just color.

Oh, okay. I thought you were about to be like, oh, it's gonna squeeze your arm off.

No, no, no, no, no. That was just color, but. And you do hear whispering coming from her fanbrace. Is it talking to her? Can't make out any of the words.

I will set you free too.

I say to it it's shit talking.

The dagger.

That's what's going on right now, probably.

And it is Troy's turn.

I want to point out this is how bad being depressed is. I had to use a full psychic power just to counteract my depression. The penalty I get for being on the depressive and the psychic power basically cancel each other out. I just saw everybody run. I guess I moved pretty quick. The barn is on fire. Who all's still in the barn? Mr. Cat. The bad guy.

Torben.

Torben?

Yeah.

You can see shadows in the barn. You just heard this cat, like, yowl.

I'm gonna rush forward. I've got great senses. I'll be able to figure out what's going on. Clearly, Mr. Cat's getting jacked up. Going to rush in and try and attack.

All right.

Is she still prone? Do I get any kind of benefit for her being on the ground?

Sure, yeah. You can have. Mr. Cat's got her on the ground.

Okay.

Take a plus two to attack.

Wait, I am going to do a called strike to the arm that just grasped at Mr. Cat. I don't know the gauntlets. Actually, I do probably know the gauntlets talking. If it can be heard with normal hearing, it can be heard with normal hearing. Oh, I don't like that. So I'm gonna rush forward with that big, giant sword and I'm gonna swing for her that particular hand. All right, that's not great. I'm gonna use a heroic point. This is a bad dice session.

That looks better.

Oh, yeah, that's significantly better. So that's gonna be a 13. With the plus two you gave me is 15. And with my natural bonuses. Oh, wait, hold on. I. The sword might. So 21 would be my total.

She is unable to parry your blow as she is occupied by trying to stop Mr. Cat from stabbing her.

Perfect. I'm gonna. You happen to have the Swords, damage handy. I had, for some reason, have not added to my character sheet yet. Actually, I may have. We double check.

46.

46.

And plus whatever your strength, bonus him up, Troy.

36 damage. And I think. Didn't you say it also drains psionic power? I believe so.

It did. The damage is also replicated on PPE and isp.

Well, good. She could stop casting spells. That means super.

So, Alex, Henry regains control of his faculties.

It is your turn, Henry. Upon stopping, probably Gorshkov yelling in his ear. Once again, like, what are you doing? It's like, oh, what was I doing? Let's get back in there. So I am going to just. Can I run in there, assess the situation, and make an attack based off the assessment?

Yeah, I would say so. You're very fast.

Then Henry is going to just dig into the dirt, stopping in his tracks, turn around, run right back on in there.

Yeah, Henry, Kool Aid mans through the wall.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Once again, not very safe. Could have obliterated Bronson, but he does so sees what's going on with all the stabbing and figures, whoa, whoa. She's blocking his blade. Let's help out. So I am going to essentially try and I don't know what's more. Yeah, I don't know what's more appropriate. Body block, select tackle. I assume wrestling crush, last squeeze. I'm gonna grab her arms and try to restrain her so she can't block the blade.

Okay. Yeah, you could attempt to grapple.

Would that be considered body block, slash, tackle.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah. You'll lead in with. With that.

All right.

Because you're just, you know, lunging, I assume.

I'm assuming that's gonna come with the same 18.

She can't dodge because she is prone and, you know, there's a cat on her. She can't parry a body block. So you just slam into her. She can't get knocked down anymore. So you're just, you know, there.

The ground is pretty soft. She probably goes down like there's a thousand pounds of robot on her.

Crunches a little bit. It's 21 SDC.

Yeah, it should be MDC damage. That wouldn't make any sense for it to be SDC.

Okay, well, then 21 MDC and I hopefully have helped prevent her from stopping the stabs.

We shall see.

So you guys are holding her on the ground, and you see this, like, shape move up the side of her neck, like under the skin, like something writhing. It comes through her mouth and she coughs and spits towards Mr. Cat.

Oh, God.

So I'm going to say if you would like to dodge or parry, that's going to require you essentially giving up some of your leverage on holding her down.

Is it a solid object?

It looks solid. You're not exactly sure what it is, but it's something moving towards your face on a 21.

Okay, yep, yep, I'll try and parry.

I have a great idea. If you fail to parry this well.

Oh, yeah, that's a 24.

You knock away this leech that she just spit out of her mouth, flops to one side.

Sides.

It starts shrieking unnaturally gross.

Ew.

Does she look any worse for the wear? Was that like, she was possessed and now she's passing out or she just was like, have a friend?

Well, given that she's trying to now heave Henry off of her, you're guessing no. So this will be opposed strength checks, which, really, given that both of these characters have ridiculously high strengths, it's just whoever Rose rolls lowest will win between her and Henry.

Is that a hundred out of 100?

Yeah.

You wanna. You wanna roll?

Oh, with these dice today, I'm seeing a 97. 48. Not bad.

Could be bad.

She rolled a 58.

All right.

Ain't going nowhere. Got you.

Yeah. You have to put your full mass behind it because she is lifting you up for a second before you, like, fire your burn jets to force her back down the ground. And it is Bronson's turn.

What is Bronson doing?

What do you guys want him to do?

Oh. Oh, no.

Did he make his horse safe? Oh, yeah. He's coming back.

Dog pile.

Dog pilot is.

Yeah, he's obviously coming back the last time.

Yep, yep. I think Bronson's gonna do his thing that he did to the rats, but, you know. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Roll for his attack.

Okay, yeah, yeah. 12.

Okay. So I'm gonna say since Henry's holding her down with the express purpose of stopping her parry, she's gonna be at half effectiveness. And she rolled exactly at 12.

There she goes.

She manages to stop Bronson, and then it is Torben's turn and he's shouting. She's vulnerable to holy magic, holy water, holy symbols, anything. He's not going to fire a huge blast of burning fire because the barn is already on fire and you guys are on her, so. But her vambrace, it is making its own action.

That fucker.

Oh. Actually, before that could go Jacob, it is Riley's turn.

I definitely heard what he just shouted, right?

Yes.

Riley starts reciting the Lord's prayer in Latin at the top of his lungs while slamming a firebolt from his pistol into the leech on the ground. Just making sure it's out of the fight.

Yeah. Roll your attack.

Good call.

Well, that's a beautiful 18. So suddenly I can hit the broadside of a barn.

Well, unfortunately for the leech, it cannot dodge. So roll your damage.

12. Mega damage.

It bursts in this like a popped zit. Just blood splatter all over the floor. And then the vanbre starts whispering, and everybody else is pretty occupied, so I'm gonna say it's only Riley that notices that the big package padlock on the door goes clunk, unlocks, and then unfolds itself away from the door. And it is top of the round, Mr. Cat.

Great. I'm gonna grab her head, tilt it back, and slit her throat. Okay, like, press in and just cut. If I can cut her head off, that would be even better.

Right to the point.

Yep, that's a 13 to hit.

So her parry is reduced. She's still gonna attempt it. That's a six, so that will not be it. So roll your damage,

God damn it. 12:34.

Okay, you're rolling double damage, right?

Oh, that was just the first one. Let me roll a second time. And 40.

So you slit her throat. Blood wells out. But when you scraped your knife across, it was like running a knife across a metal surface. And beneath the skin is this metal carapace, similar almost exactly in composition to her armor.

Her armor's wearing armor.

Gross.

Her armor was wearing her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then the door, the trapdoor blows open. There's this howl. Something lands heavily behind all of you. Jacob's the only one can see it. It's this overgrown massive beast. If Henry. Well, Henry looks up and sees something similar to the creature he saw burst into reality on the bridge in Detroit. Not quite that large.

I mean, it fit through, what, a 5x5 door?

So the squeeze.

Oh, yeah. It's like a. It's a much smaller version of the one that Henry saw.

It's a puppy.

Which was just a small, dark behemoth.

Okay, but. But ultimate important question. Did I get her head?

No, she's. She is an entirely MDC creature.

Are you starting a collection of heads or something?

I mean, yeah, just like 70 something MDC to the head.

70?

I mean, she is technically a demon, so. So the. The dark behemoth puppy launches itself at. Let's see which one of you Tarpon.

I mean. Sorry, I didn't say that.

Sorry, Mr. Cat, it's coming for you.

I'm on top of her.

So dogs don't like cats.

This would be interesting.

That makes sense.

Are you. Are you going to attempt to defend yourself or maintain your position on her?

I'm gonna try and leap off, like, leap up. So it either goes through the spot that I was or lands on top of her, maybe damages her more.

So essentially a dodge.

Yeah.

Okay.

It hits on a 24.

Okay. Jesus. I dodge on a 28.

Oh, you leap up. It does slam through the air where you were. But of course, you are now off of her and it is. Sean, it is your turn. This creature, this massive dog like thing just lunged at Mr. Cat who Somersaulted off of it, away from it.

I know what I want to do, and I feel like you guys. Why is he being an asshole? This game. The guy shouts that warning. We see this crazy. Troy is putting two and two together and getting a number that is not four. He is gonna. I'm so glad that thing jumped because I probably would have backed right into him. He starts saying, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Backs up. And then I'm gonna swing my sword at a support beam for the barn and just try and drop the barn on this bullshit. But he's backing up as he does this. Freaking him out.

All right.

Appreciate that.

This.

So it's an SDC barn.

Yes, it is.

Yeah. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Quing with a giant two handed blade.

Okay.

Do you want me to make an attack roll? Trying to.

Cause.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I mean, you could roll one.

I rolled a 19. So with my strike bonus and the barns limit to dodge stat, I think I'm. I should be. All right.

That is plenty. Yeah. So Troy lunges around, like knocking the support beams out from under the barn. It starts collapsing, which is bad for anybody that's not made of mdc.

You're not in the barn anymore. Right. Good.

Bronson is.

Bronson's got MDC armor.

Oh, he does.

Just the chest.

Unless the barn makes a targeted attack.

Area of effect, my friend. Area of effect.

Yeah, yeah, it will definitely. Yeah, apply. So, Sean, is Troy getting out of the barn? Because I'm seeing some.

No, he is. He is. He wants to get away from this. And he's dropping the barn to make sure it doesn't follow him.

You lunge out as the barn is collapsing. Alex Henry just saw Troy, like, start knocking down sport beams. This massive dark behemoth. Not again. Not as large as the one you saw on the bridge, but definitely big. Is There. And you still have her pin, though. Mr. Cat has lunged away. What does Henry do?

I feel like we've got the remnants of an advantage with her still on the ground. She's still prone.

I think she's still prone.

So I am going to rear my arm back, have that cool miner's mechanic just fucking full power. Punch her in the face.

Crush that skull.

Yeah. You're using your piston. Mm.

He punches. Stops 2 inches away from her face. And then the fist just rapid fires.

I'm gonna burn. And if I burn a heroism, I can choose between the two or no.

Yes.

If you re. Roll. You. You still.

It's not burning. It's just spinning.

18.

That's a little better.

She parries on a 24. She knocks it to one side enough that you smash the the ground next to her, cracking like the concrete of the barnyard floor. And are you moving out of the barn that is collapsing?

Yes. Can I grab Bronson on my way out?

I will say it'll cost you an action, but yes, you could.

What about grabbing?

Would it cost me one action to

grab both of them on my way out?

Both of who?

Torben and Bronson.

I would say you could do that in the same action if you wanted to. Grab both of them.

I will burn. My final attack. And grab both of them and get the fuck out of dodge.

You grab both of them. Cybernetic, legs pumping. Smash through the wall with Torbit, bro. Let me at her. I can get her.

Please.

She probably knows where Mike is.

I forgot about mine. Fight's not over, little buddy.

Don't let Bronson hear you say that.

Depression does that.

It does.

Now, at this point, only Mr. Cat is in the barn, which is collapsing. This dark behemoth is completely unconcerned about the barn collapsing and is just looking at this cat that's up in the rafters. Vendra, the woman, like, kips up, dodges a strut that slams into the ground, lunges for the doorway trapdoor, and disappears down into that hole.

Smart move.

Smart move. Jacob, it is your turn.

As someone who's outside the barn and sees a barn starting to come apart,

what do I do here?

I'm really at a loss. Yeah. Shoot a barn. The woman who just disappeared down a hole.

She jumped down the hole.

That's. That's my thought grenade. I don't. Weirdly enough, I think from where I'm standing. Can I see the hole?

I would say probably not. Really. Okay.

The only two people in the barn are Mr. Cat and the hellhound thing. Everybody else is either in the hole or outside the hole. I'm gonna try to take a shot at the Hellhound, I guess.

Yeah, you can definitely see it. The bar is coming down around it, and it's just mostly concerned with getting to Mr. Cat.

We're calling. You were calling it a Hellhound. Is it, like, burning itself?

No. No.

Oh, okay.

Demonic hound from hell. That's where I was going. All right, we're going to pump out a shot with of electric arc at it. That is a 17.

It's not even aware of you, so it's not dodging.

Good, because it's an easy to dodge spell.

Lightning spell is easy to dodge.

It's a straight dodge.

Yeah. So roll your damage.

It only has two MDC damage for a total of five, and that's that.

Is it normally arc or chain or anything? Or is it just.

Nope. The reason I like it is one, it's electrical, which can potentially have additional effects. Two, it doesn't set the barn on fire,

which it is on fire.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, it doesn't make it worse. And three, I can pump one of those out, every single action.

Yeah. Oh.

Which is the one upside for that particular spell. It's. I have spells that can do more damage, but I can't use them as often, and they cost more. Pp.

I was gonna say in pp. That's.

Yeah, yeah. So the spell hits it in the side, electricity arcs over it. It shakes like a, you know, a massive dog might. And Torben is collecting himself, and it's Mr. Cat's turn. I'm gonna say roll your. Let's see. To not get hit.

Make a dramatic leap out of the roof.

Yeah, yeah.

Ahead of the explosion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do the.

Yeah. You could leap out as this thing is tumbling down, collapsing, covering the dark behemoth, the baby dark Behemoth, basically.

Cool. So as I'm doing that, though, here's how I want to do this.

Yes.

I want to find wherever she is, and I want to leap out.

She jumped down into the trap door. Oh, damn.

You could follow her into the hole. That will not go well. But you could.

No, I can't. I can't take a single hit from her.

Yeah.

No, the dagger says go after her. Now, as a gm, that is not me as a GM telling you to do that. I very, very much want you to understand. This is an NPC paladin inside a magic weapon telling you to do that.

Can you protect me?

Your faith will protect you.

I'm Leaping out.

Good move.

Nope. I'm sorry.

Cats have no faith.

Exactly. Exactly. No matter how good I want to be, I'm a cat.

Yeah.

When my owner dies, I will eat them if no one else comes around.

Besides, Mr. Cat only has one God.

Exactly.

Leap out.

So I'm going to. What I was going to say is that if she were around, I wanted to leap out and land right next to a pirouette and land next to her in a similar three point pose, but more grace, but more graceful just to prove that I'm better than her. But there's no one here to see it when I do that, and I'm very disappointed. That's my turn.

You get golf claps from all over,

Sean. Mr. Cat lands nearby in a very graceful three point pose. The barn is collapsing down. What is Troy doing?

Can I still see the big dog?

You can see this kind of shape that's barking and roaring as things are falling on it.

Yeah.

It doesn't matter. I swing my laser rifle up and I just start blasting in that area. It's going to go right through the SDC barn and hit the dog inside. So I'm gonna shoot.

It is gonna go right through the STC barn.

Yeah. I am not closing. I'm just gonna shoot.

Okay.

Oh, I have one of those. I forgot.

And a shot with a laser rifle. I might have a bow. I'm just gonna roll and add my regular strike. I think that's just gonna be 12. I don't think I went to check the gear.

I don't know.

I don't think I added. I don't think it's just an NG laser rifle. I don't think it even has any special bonuses. I am proficient, but. So I think that's. Call it a 12. Just make it easy.

Okay. It's not dodging, so just roll your damage.

Oh, works for me.

I mean, it can't literally see you, so. Because there's barn around it.

Well, damage.

All right.

That may be the first time I've used that laser rifle.

Alex.

Henry is outside. Torben and Bronster dusting themselves off. Troy is firing into the barn. What does Henry do?

Well, I'm out of attack actions, which I assume means I can't attack, but can I do anything?

You can talk.

I try to stand in front of Torben and Bronson trying to hold.

Know any good jokes?

Oh, boy.

It's like that time Mike threw that one dude at us. That fucking cyber goober. It's terrible. I got no jokes, man.

Can Never remember the punchline.

Yep, that's it for Henry.

So Bronson is going to not charge into the barn since he just saw Mr. Cat leap out. And let's see which one of you we'll let. We'll start with Jacob. Jacob, roll a. Roll a D6.

I refuse two.

Better than one.

Number two. Okay, it is top of the round. Mr. Cat. Barn is collapsed. You can still see the pile is being moved around as the dark behemoth is trying to figure out which way to go. And chunks of debris are shifting.

I'm going to run away in a direction a little bit off the trajectory that the rest of the people are going, just to potentially draw it away in case it comes for me. It won't cause any damage to Lake Torbin. And I'm pulling out my laser rifle. Start firing at this thing. Okay, that's technically a hit on an eight.

Look, it cannot see you guys to dodge because it is covered in barn debris. So if you hit, you're rolling damage.

14. 14 MD. No, sorry. 12. 12 MD. I was reading the wrong one.

Mr. Cat takes off running, firing his laser rifle. Sean, it's your turn.

Does Bronson have actions left? And he's just.

He does, but he doesn't know what to do.

Perfect. I would like to now toss him my shotgun and take another shot. Inflicting seven points of mdc.

Cool.

What do I do with this?

Yes.

Nobody's ever showed me how to use a gun.

This will be great, guys.

Well, NPC roll. Bronson's intelligence

is torpen. About to.

I love it. I love it. Bronson is not the sharpest tool in the shed here. So here we go. D100 version. Okay, he could do it.

Certainly no trigger discipline.

That's what I was gonna say. It's one of the special bullets. But I was gonna determine randomly because

that's probably how I like this plan.

That's how Troy would have loaded it randomly.

Let me go find 47 under 50.

Yeah, yeah. He figures it out. He's vaguely pointing the shotgun in the right direction. I've watched mash. Well done, Barbara Show.

I think you sent me the list of all the ammo, but let me. I gotta find. He did. He gave me a list. So let's see which one was randomly. I think you sent it to me directly,

so I'm assuming he doesn't have all the rounds, right?

No, no.

He just would have. Whatever.

I think it holds the list of

what you have in front of me.

Me. Oh, okay. So I count seven different types.

I can do it on the fly right now.

Oh, I was. I was just gonna roll and count down the line. One, two.

Yeah, you only have seven options, so.

All right. It is number five.

So.

Looks like entropy shells. That sounds wonderful. They do not wound conventionally. Instead, they accelerate the aging of whatever they strike, turning flesh to brittle dust. Well, that's cool.

Ooh, Roll Bronson's. Arranged attack for Bronson.

Okay,

come on.

Give me, give me that die.

This?

Yep, this is the one Jacob got me.

Hold on.

I gotta warm it up because it changes colors. Oh, yep, yep, yep. It's a heat sensitive dye. Okay. Bronson's. Oh, that's right. He doesn't have the skill. So It's a straight D20. Straight D20. Oh, 18.

That's a hit.

12. Sorry. This die is also difficult to read.

And this particular round would be MDC instead of sdc.

Or you're gonna have to ask him because it's the magical round and most

of them he made up.

Well, no, there's no damage associated with them. There's only effects. And he has to adjudicate how the effects work.

Well, he was a baby, so he gets older now he's bigger, tougher.

Only one shell, one round that had damage associated with it. And I didn't give you that one.

So the dark Behemoth, also known as the Demon Hound, is actually, while it is a mega damage creature, it does have a finite lifespan. It is not effectively immortal. So this thing bursts out of the detritus of the bar, and Bronson goes, oh my God. And fires the shotgun and hits it. And the thing, as Sean alluded, immediately begins to grow in size. Grow much more massive. Reaches 15ft long, 40. 40ft long. Claws, tentacles on its face. And then it begins to wither and age and crumble into gray dust and spill across the ruins of the barn. I did it.

I would like to use my final attack to just fist bump him. Just final action. A solid fist bump.

Yeah.

You have to say, good boy, Troy.

I was gonna do that to her, but y' all were involved in little fisticuffs and firing into combat is like hard coded into Riley not to do

it would really suck to misfire and shoot a friend. In that case, I wanted to run

and kick her head, but I didn't for the exact same reason.

Alex, it is Henry's turn. Oh, you're out of action. Sorry. Who has actions left? Is a good question.

Riley.

Mr. Cat.

Okay, in that case, it is Riley's turn.

So there's a collapsed barn on top of the hole where she went down, Correct?

That is correct.

There is now an on fire barn. There's an even more on fire barn as I pump a fireball out of my gun into it.

Oh, okay, fair enough. I was going to say the fire is smoldering now because the barn collapsed, but.

Yeah, but that is shoot a fireball. Aoe that would push down into the.

Yeah, I don't know his ruling, but yeah, I'm. I'm. We're not even doing firebolt. We're going all the way to fireball. Explosive ranged attack, the whole bit.

This is the first time you've been able to shoot at something with that and not hit one of us.

Nope. Note to self, purchase grenades.

Yes.

Yes. It was on my plan list. We were outfitting everybody else last time.

First item on the list, railgun for the cyborg. Second item on the list, grenades.

Fifth item on the list, armor for Riley.

You know, I'll give you like a leg brace if you want this. One leg is already gone.

Okay, so roll D4 for each level. You're what? Level two?

Level two?

Yep. Turtle two. D4. Yep. She does not know the attack is coming.

Oh, that'd be four mega damage. I'm rolling. Not great tonight.

Nobody was that was that other one A one? I thought it was one and a three.

I've been rolling too.

Fireball explodes and casting chunks of barn like shrapnel to surrounding area. It is now on fire again. And see, Alex, you can roll a D6.

All right,

base two, that's the same we got last time.

Yeah, roll it one more time.

All right,

base two, it's my mistake.

We'll go with one number one. All right, it is Mr. Cat's turn.

I'm just gonna watch it burn.

Okay, Jacob, does Riley have any more action?

Riley has one, but there's not. Riley's gonna crack open his revolver, spend the action, and load up two rust eater rounds.

Ooh.

Okay.

Oh, good choice. So top of the new round. It's Mr. Cat's turn. And Sean, you can roll a D6.

How about a three?

Number three. Okay, see, what is Mr. Cat gonna do?

I'm going to increase my distance away from the bar because this gun got some range. I don't know what's going to come out, but I after looking down at the state of my gear, like, okay, first off, my helmet has two MDC left, My torso has two MDC left. I could probably start taking some things on my arms, but I don't know.

All it would take is one called shot to kill you.

Exactly. So I'm okay. Yeah. Moving back, getting some range. But as I do so, I am keeping it in my sight, ready to fire anything that comes up.

Well, let me. Let me. I guess the question is, is anyone going into the barn after her?

So we drop the barn on her. She hasn't come back out?

No, she jumped down the hole into the secret area. It's on fire.

So I will. After Bronta does that, I will fist bump him, and then I'm going in, because I'm counting that as a significant. Something has shifted dramatically, and I rerolled, and now I'm a little better mood.

I was literally waiting for the crazy to take the first move.

I will. Yeah, I will. Definitely. At that moment when we kill that thing with the shotgun, I'm like, oh. I'm like, let's do it, Bronson. And then I would be heading back in. I only had one action left for this round, so that could be a next round type thing, but I think

this is the next round.

Oh. Oh, okay. Okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have superhuman strength, right? Is that.

Yeah, I have. I have augmented strength, which is pretty. Lets me do pretty good. But if. Is this to, like, clear the debris out of the way?

Yes. Yeah, it would be.

Well, I have good news for you. I have now used all three of my psychic abilities because I have telekinetic lift. So I would like to rush forward, augmenting my strength with telekinetic lift, and throw the burning debris off. Oh, it's burning. Yeah, Those are SDC flames.

You regenerate them in a round.

I do regenerate them. Anyway, so that's what I would like

to do is running through the burning barn, flinging things rapidly, regenerating burned flesh, losing bits of skin, and you're at the hole. It's a dark hole leading down to. You could see the stone floor, some kind of cellar.

I have an idea. Give me a second to see. You know what? I don't even care. I will grab a brick or a rock from the ground, and I will throw it in the hole, and I yell, grenade. And then just wait to see if it works.

Oh, grenade. Okay,

I'm not going in there. Maybe she'll come out.

Sean, I am disappointed. You were standing in the burning wreckage at a hole, and you did not yell, fire in the hole.

I'm out.

I'm out.

It was too late.

I'm so disappointed in you.

So you Hear, oh, no. And a rock is thrown up to ricochet off and flies back up through the roof. Threw it out. It's okay. Idiot.

I think she used an action for that.

She did. She did use an action for that.

Well, that's okay because I'm a. Bronson's gonna go. You know, Bronson's going in.

It is Henry's turn.

So seeing Troy rush back in and suddenly be so different in mood, once again worried about his friends with a lot less, you know, hardened plastial skin. So Henry's gonna rush up, join Troy at the hole, whip out his Wilkes, Remy, Sharpshooter Rifle 147. Just blast indiscriminately into the hole.

So you're firing into the hole. She is not directly in the line of fire.

Well, thank God it's only gonna cost me one action.

Are you jumping? Are you going down? Is the real question.

So I play a lot of fallout, especially Fallout 4 and Fallout 76. This is a really cool thing that I'm really sad we haven't seen here in Rifts. With power armor, you can get this thing that when you jump down, there's a blast that echoes out.

That would be so cool.

It would be cool.

And I tell you what,

I gotta

work in my own mechanic here. Death wish.

Oh, that's right.

And I'm gonna go ahead and say that three is dancing with the devil. So yes, I am going to jump down and try, maybe be less discriminate with my shooting.

Henry leaps down into this secret chamber beneath the barn. It's about 20 by 30ft wide, just reinforced with stone and ancient timbers. There's dusty shelves here with crates and tubes and lock boxes. Near one end is this. It's just massive, large stone, but large enough to be a table. And it's blackened, almost like an altar. On the floor is a magic circle is the first thing that pops into Henry's head. It's clearly elaborate, made of silver and bone dust. And as you enter, the woman takes a step into the circle. There are three large square metal boxes stacked inside the circle. And there are four more on one wall nearby. The light here is coming from a lantern nearby, burning with a violent, or, excuse me, with a violet, cold flickering flame. And I'm gonna say you still have your action remaining.

Okay.

My instincts. Plus, I'd like to think Gorshkov's guiding me. I kind of want to aim at those boxes. She's inside the circle. There's some boxes inside the circle, some boxes outside of the Circle. I like to aim at the boxes

outside of the circle.

Okay. The ones outside of the circle that are closer to you than her.

Oh, they're just right neck close.

Okay.

Yeah. So what it looks like is that she has been moving boxes off the wall into the circle.

One thing I struggle with is how much of what I decide to do could be construed as metagaming based on what's explained to me.

We're gamers in a game world, so don't be afraid of metagaming.

I would love to grab the boxes she has not managed to pull into the circle yet, grab them, and jump the fuck out. If I could see, I'm sitting here

thinking, she already found the ones she needs, and you're carrying out the one she doesn't.

I mean, what would Mike do? What would Mike do? Yeah.

I would say as a cyborg.

Yeah.

You could probably grab all of them. It'd be a little awkward just because they're large boxes.

Like, sure.

Pretty large. It's not a matter of could you lift them? It's a matter of, like, can you physically, like.

Yeah.

Hold them all together without dropping one?

It's not heavy, but it's awkward. You got to pin.

It's awkward. Yeah, I would say you could do that. Just barely.

Okay. Can I do a little backflip as I'm coming out?

See you.

I know.

I'm asking you will. You will definitely drop some. All right.

No back flip.

So you grab the boxes, and then you're just leaping out. Yeah, yeah. You leap out, your jet boots burning, and it is her turn. No one's down there to see what she does. So it is Bronson's turn. Bronson runs straight past Henry. When he lands. I'll get her. Henry. He jumps down in the hole.

He's got this. What could go wrong?

And there's silence. Nothing. No sound. You guys are waiting. Bronson's heads pop up. Hey, man, what did you put in a box?

She must have teleported out.

Okay.

With some of the bodies not down here.

Or she's invisible.

I found a chicken bone, though.

I look over at Mr. Cat and go, can I see the knife for just a moment?

I've got a better idea.

Mine's time dependent on to mediate.

Okay, well, if you're gonna pass the turn to me and nothing else is happening, I'm gonna activate see invisible drop down in the hole.

There are no invisible creatures in the hole.

Okay, I'm out. I hold the dagger up.

I start to reach out to take it. And then I stop. Go. You just hold it right there.

And I. I wasn't going to let you take it.

Don't worry. I want none of that. I've seen what it does to you. And I take out an empty vial and very, very carefully run it along the edges of the knife, scraping up any traces of blood that are on it.

I wonder if I could just plunge the dagger into a pool of water.

Yeah, I need the blood, not that.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I see.

He's collecting the demon blood.

Okay, so. Which? She never told you guys her name, but just for tracking purposes. You have Vendra's blood. That way, when you say the blood of the weird lady we fought, I'll be like, who? And you'll say vendra, and I'll know

what you're talking about.

I mean, there's probably a lot of blood drops around, too.

Yeah, but this is going to be

cleaner than right on the edge of my holy blade. Yeah, I mean, considering that it's even there, I figured it would have just sizzled off or something.

Well, I'm hoping this is still kind of a last desperate option if. Down the road anyway. But I just want it around.

Yeah, we'll say you can recover some.

I mean, the reality is, is that she wasn't expecting to fight us and still went functionally one to four with us. Well, you all were definitely on the winning end of the exchange. Next time when she may know we're coming, it may not go so well. So I'm just buying a little insurance. Pulse.

Oh, I thought we were all dead.

I'm pretty sure that she's some kind of God, and I hope we do

not encounter the moment we were rolling initiative. It's like, okay, well, look at my stats. I'm gonna win this because that bonus and I don't know what I'm going to do, and because I can't rely on the crazy to go first and be our mascot. I'm going to go first, and she's going to kill me. I was just straight up like, she's going to kill me.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I'm glad she didn't with me, too.

Yeah, the number of times she made a roll and he's like, it's 26. I'm like, oh, gee,

she's pretty good. She's not a God. She works for a God.

You can't prove that she's not a God.

I can.

I guess I'm just saying. Troy doesn't believe you.

All right, that's the most manic statement I've ever heard. You can't prove she's not a God.

Okay, here's the thing. I want to do a thing, but I can't metagame because I wasn't a player. I was a cat. Kyle, I'll leave this up to you.

Yes. All right.

I, as a player, have ideas. However, would, Would. Would Mike have ever involved magic circles in a game that Mr. Cat listened in on?

For sure.

Great. I'm gonna go back down there. I'm gonna take this knife, I'm gonna focus on it, make sure it knows I'm drawing on its holy power, and then I'm going to scrape across that circle. Just a line across.

Nothing ever comes. Well, from disrupting a magical circle against an evil circle. I mean, you.

So you definitely feel the supernatural power of the circle. You don't feel that it's specifically evil.

Okay.

But you definitely feel the energy leave the room after you break the circle.

Great. So sorry if you wanted to use that, but nope.

Yep. I was contemplating figuring out whether or not we could follow her.

I. We do not let. Why don't you and Torben are both mages, Go look at the circle?

Now, since Mr. Cat already broke the circle, I would tell you that absolutely there is a way you could have followed her. It would have been hard to figure out, but it could have worked, and it would have been the end of this campaign. Oh, okay. Jesus. I don't know how you would have survived. Where it goes, yes.

But also just camp. Having some small group camp out on it and go back to Tolkien to borrow a nuclear warhead to kick through it because it was on my list of ideas.

Interesting.

So she came here to get something. We just happened to be in the way.

Right.

She grabbed it and left.

Yeah.

What's in the other box?

What's in the box? I checked 1995. It's within period.

I, I. When she showed up, I went, she's not here to get a goddamn dog. The goddamn dog is just a watchdog.

Yep.

So three of the boxes. Well, only Henry would know that there were three boxes that she left, but he has four of them.

And I do relay. I might not have paid attention to how many she had.

She had some, but you just play back the recording.

Unfortunately, those were the four boxes full of grenades. Boom.

I gesture for Torben to come over and we're gonna crack open these boxes right here and right now and see what we're dealing with.

Okay. So the first one you open resting in a lot of hay used as a packing material is a delicate tube of crimson tinted glass sealed with black wax. Inside churns a tiny contained fire.

I think Mr. Cat's gonna destroy that. It sounds evil.

Riley throws himself for the box.

No, it's gonna explode. All right. Okay.

We could at least have Joe Red check it out before we break in.

Or let's start with the mage next to us who's not a techno mage.

Yeah. The next box is a long silver chain that appears ordinary.

Now, are we talking like a neck chain or like.

Yes, yes, like a chain you would wear.

Perhaps Bronson and I both should be sniffing things before anyone touches them.

It's a fair idea. It's a fair idea.

I'm not going to fight you on that. Although I'm going to be keeping a close eye after the I'm going to smash it.

That was a player joke. But I know

the first one. The delicate tube, definitely smells magical, but not necessarily evil. The second one does smell corrupt. The third box is a massive ironbound book filled with words in a script you don't recognize.

Not even Gorshkov?

Def. No, definitely not Gorshkov.

But it's not. Doesn't smell evil.

No, it doesn't smell. Well, no, it does smell magic. Okay, well, actually, what languages does everyone speak?

I'm assuming not Spanish. Is it written in Spanish?

It's not written in Spanish.

Espanol?

English?

No one speaks Draconic?

No, not unless Draconic is a modification

of Arabic or Esperanto.

No, neither.

Neither.

The fourth is a silver locket shaped like an open mouth. Inside is a tiny shard of obsidian and a faint rhythmic hum. And it also smells magic and corrupt.

Demonic sex toy. Gross.

It's not that big. It's like a locket.

Wait, wait, wait. An open mouth. With what?

Inside the mouth is a tiny shard of obsidian, and you hear a faint rhythmic hum.

Okay, and you said the chain was like a neck chain?

Yep.

It would look really good on a neck's football player.

I was hoping it was long enough to be a swinging whipping chain.

I suspect that this fourth item, if you focus really hard, we'll sing the intro song to Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Riley pulls out a gun and empties it into the.

Okay.

I mean, so we're taking these with us in the box or not in the box?

In the box, yes.

Other than the books, Henry's welcome to

I know from Mike's collection of toys. You keep them in the box.

Heavy.

It's heavy.

Yeah, those iron Bound books you see in movies all the time. Look. Cool. That'd be heavy as shit.

Riley just looks at you, taps out another cigarette, lights it off the burning wreckage of the barn, and just blows smoke in your face.

Are you referring to Riley's strength or ours? Because the three of us could probably twirl the bot on the tip of our fingers.

Okay, he's throwing shade at Riley.

I was concerned perhaps we could become Jim Bros.

I am also taking my satchel of ammo, handing that off to Bronson. No, he's for sure got a shotgun with some arcade ammo now.

Okay, this is gonna have the spin off story. Chihuahua with a shotgun.

Yeah, it's all right. I am very good with this. I killed that other dog.

Absolutely. Just remember this end. You point at the bad guys.

Which one?

Yeah. Yes. I will give him enough basic understanding of how to. Which way to point it.

Yeah, he's walking around with it. Hey, Henry. Do you know what you should never do with a shotgun?

What's that, little buddy?

Put it in your mouth.

Okay, tone it down there. We're learning some things about Mike's Dark Knights right now. Wait, where did you even get that from? Jesus Christ. Lil Cobain.

Exactly. Everybody knows that rule.

Kurt didn't.

Aww.

Don't do it.

Okay, so speaking of the other dog, I want to go look where it died and see if there's any bits of remainder, because I'm familiar with dogs and dogs often wear collars. Did this one have a collar?

It did not. As far as you can tell, all that's pretty much left is essentially desiccated bits of bone and crumbled dehydrated flesh.

Boring.

Can you. Did you guys go look at the thing? If we could tell where that portal goes, we would know what we're dealing with.

Maybe I at least wanted to check the basement to see if there was anything else worth taking or.

Yeah, loot the basement. I'm not going in there. She might come back.

No, that is the. You retrieved the only things of interest. There's some very old canned goods, but. Very old.

Do dark behemoths have to poop? That thing's been there for a while.

This is not a question I think you thought we would ask.

No, I would say we want to

use that outdoors scale. All right.

Does a demon hound shit in the hole?

Is that what we're asking?

Apparently thinking about gold tinged excrement, some people may get that.

Yeah.

Yeah. So cool. That's fine.

You have loaded the recovered items of supernatural providence. In the Mountaineer, the barn is. Fire is smoldering. It is the middle of the night. Fortunately, no farmers have wandered.

I was gonna say nobody is.

Yeah, no fire brigade.

I mean, they were starting to come and then there was a fireball. They're like, no, thought, better not.

What are you guys doing?

Get back to the Mountaineer.

Get out of Dodge.

Even if we want to come back later.

We were headed to New Laszlo, but we diverted here because of the date on the geospatial coordinates.

It's not like we don't have them written down. Couldn't find them again.

Yeah, it was just we had to make it by the date time, so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, perfect. Do we, before we leave, want to see if the mages can figure out where that thing went?

Yeah, let's take a crack at it. Not like I'm going to be super helpful, but I might learn something.

Okay, so Torben and Riley go down into the hole.

A mystic and a techno wizard, the most diametrically opposed.

We could really use a shifter or a planeswalker right now, but this is what we got.

All right.

Love it.

And the circle's been violated.

You're welcome.

I was gonna have to say, I'm definitely gonna have to look at to see what abilities of mystic has, because I know they have some that are non standard.

I like literally have no skills that apply in this circumstance.

You're smart.

That's it. All I can do is be my super intellect type dude, like pull on a freaking Norse book I read in kindergarten or something.

And what is a rune but a complicated communications device?

I mean, so the question is whether or not we had ever seen a copy of the Palladium fantasy rpg, because that has the runes drawn out now.

That's the big question.

So Torben and Jacob are in this secret stash lit by this violet flickering flame. And Torben says, I could potentially learn some more about what went on here, but it is not without its perils.

I take a long drag of my cigarette and look at him and go, this is far more in your wheelhouse than mine. I trust your judgment.

Then I will open myself to whatever spirits or entities may be nearby. He kind of looks at the broken circle, says, I don't know if that will affect this or not.

I nod knowingly and casually, very subtly, lay my hand on my revolver.

I mean, if this has been here for a while and there are any kind of spirits, they might. Oh, something.

So you guys are. The rest of you are outside presumably, right? Nobody else is down in the cellar.

I'm not down there.

Correct, yes.

They're above ground. We're below ground in the smoking wreckage of the barn.

Yeah, you guys are out there. The wizards are doing their stuff. You hear an eagle cry above you. Unusual for night, Bronson's looking around. And in the cellar, Torben sits down, crosses his legs, assumes this meditative pose, and he uses the mystic power, opening oneself to the supernatural, becoming the vessel for a medium through which entities and other forces can temporarily communicate.

Great. We've got our most social person downstairs about to talk to some dead things. Go get him, Riley.

I was but a young, dark behemoth cut short before I could reach my prime.

Technically, I reached my prime really quick.

Puberty, at that rate, would have been a bitch.

So, in the skies above, there's this roar of thunder, crackle of lightning. Down the cellar, Torben's body unnaturally straightens his back. The room gets very cold, and a voice speaks out. It's Torben's voice. What was taken from this place?

Three boxes.

What did you recover?

A vial with fire inside. A real shitty chain you'd expect on an Italian dude, bro. A screaming amulet and an ironbound book.

The vial was stolen from a Kydian overlord by a fire dancer. The chain created by a mage hunter assassinated by a shapeshifter he had once bound. The grayfold ledger is the book. It has the names of those fated to be important. It never lies. I won't.

Just a little note. I won't be mentioning that detail to any of you all. Especially not you.

I take offense.

Yeah, I was gonna say, would the megalomaniac be upset when his name isn't in the book?

See, that's.

I'm not concerned about him finding his name in the book. I'm concerned of the consequences if he doesn't.

Yeah. And it says the pendant. The locket is ideal for any mimic.

Oh.

None of these are without peril, Riley.

And how do you know my name?

Got a little bit of Torbin inside him.

We've been watching you for some time. You and the others.

Not that much time.

Yeah, I figured that out already. Thanks. Care to give me any more useful information?

So. Torben coughs and. And clears his eyes. What happened?

I offer him a cigarette.

I don't. I quit.

You might want to start again once

I tell you about this.

I give him the rundown of the list of things, failing to mention the whole name of the book. And the. And the names. The whole thing about names in it.

I will find out someday. Mark my words. Okay,

so, yeah, this was a stockpile of some rather powerful magical artifacts. If I vaguely remember what those warlords were. That bottled fire is basically a port, a nuke.

He. You know, he says, well, we should. We should be quite careful with that. Keep it away from the dog.

Honestly, I don't trust anyone else around here with that thing.

That's fair.

I don't trust myself with that thing. Riley knows exactly how much of a klutz he is.

Well, did you find out anything more?

Yeah, not you, but the rest of us. It's kind of one of those predestination things.

He looks at you as if he does not understand and says, oh, okay.

You know, we were meant to be here. Chosen to be here, called to be here. Are you familiar with the literary device of called to the call? You know, that sort of thing?

Oh, yeah, I see.

Yeah.

Well, perhaps that is for the best.

You want a drink?

Of course.

Let's go get a drink. Yeah. Riley comes back up and points at the boxes. That's some sort of bomb from a Kaidian overlord that. No, don't touch it. It's not a small bomb. You're not outrunning it. He points to the box with the chain. That is just bad news. He then points the box with the screaming amulet and goes, apparently that's great for a mimic. I have a sneaking suspicion it, like, fills in the blanks on your ability to fake being a person, possibly pull in people's memories or something, but that's just an educated guess on my part. Takes a drag from a cigarette and goes, oh, and the book. I'm going to have to decipher it to figure out exactly what's in it. Um, it's the Ironbound Home.

Sounds like boring magic shit.

Yeah, bomb, thing that'll possess you, Book of Eldritch, whatever the fuck. And a amulet that may or may not steal other people's memories, possibly overwrite your own.

Well played, Riley.

Hey, it's all Tobin here. Speaking of which, let's get this man a drink. God, he. That was rough.

And we're getting out of here, right?

Yeah, we're headed back to town.

Just for the record, I'm taking my new MDC shield with me. I don't know that that door is actually MDC keeping a Hellhound thing inside, so Troy picks that out.

Okay, so you literally. You literally have a war door.

Yes.

It is definitely made of wood. And magic was keeping the Dark Hounds or the. No way for Troy to know that.

I don't know if stupid confidence has done better than MDC armor for Troy.

So, okay, important question. The barn did burn down. The door still exist.

Well, then it must have been the lock. I'll take the lock. It's also probably not magical, but I'll take it anyway.

You pop that on the end.

Oh.

You guys load up in the Mountaineer, head back to New Laszlo. You reach the city easily enough. You're a dozen miles away. Where are you going?

I would assume experience this place to crash for the night slash early day.

Yeah, we should look her up. Be like, hey, we're back.

I thought you were done with us.

So can we crash your place again?

So, you guys.

Bro.

To experience his house. The lights are on and you can hear. You know, when you get out of the mountain here, you can. It doesn't sound like there's a party going on, but maybe a dinner party would be, you know, an idea. You can hear talking and laughter and clinking of glasses.

How far were we from. So is this still the same night?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay. I didn't realize how far we were. That's why.

No, you guys were relatively close to New Laszlo, so. Yeah. So right now you're covered in soot and blood and all the detritus that you carried with you from the subterranean reaches of Old Detroit.

God splatter from the maggot.

I point a finger over at Drom. Perhaps we should go to his house first.

Oh, I got an apartment.

What?

Nah, I'm going home. Bye. My job's done.

Fair.

As he's walking away.

Yeah.

Riley calls out. Hey, Drum. Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, no problem. If you want another guide, I'll go back. But you gotta pay me again.

From the top of the. I can't remember the name of a car. Troy will toss him the magical lock as payment. You've earned it.

The magical locket.

He's.

He's clean and windblown. The magical lock from the door.

Okay, cool. He catches it. Damn. Thanks, pal. Yeah. So Dromedary goes on and Torben looks at you. I think I will also go see if I can find my compatriots. They should have been back by now, but I. Perhaps if you will be in town for a few days, we could meet up.

I'd like that.

So what's going on inside the house?

Do you go in? Do you knock on the door? How do you. How does Troy approach?

I mean, she's going to be excited to hear about this. So I just walk in the front door? We Know I'm still in manic state, right? You guys remember that?

Oh, yeah, yeah. So you open the front door, it gets quiet. You see Experience is sit at a table with a a group of other people. So she's sitting there with. There's another woman who looks a lot like Experience, but younger. And I'll put her picture in the game chat.

Like if I was assuming they're related. Like child younger or like sister younger daughter. Okay, okay.

She's not a cat.

That is correct. And there's a few other people, none of which you recognize. Jovial Red is there. The table is set with food and drinks and Experience sets up. Oh, well, hello boys. Troy. She stands up and is like, come on in.

I hug her, bare chested, still in my plastic man armor and walk in. That's the signal. Guys, we got the invite.

Oh. Oh my gosh, you smell. You've been busy. Sit down. Actually there's a canal nearby. Yeah, it's very clean.

It's the one non blood covered party. Member of the party at this point.

Covered in blood.

Yeah.

You had no blood on you from stabbing.

She points and she says, and get Bronson before he gets inside.

Yeah, we'll grab Bronson.

Oh no. Bronson and I, the adventure is over. We're back in town. Bronson and I are partaking of the grand of weed.

Oh, for you guys just smoking weed in the front yard?

In the, in the back of the truck. Hot boxing.

There you go. I love this Mr. Cat.

Troy will absolutely strip off his armor, wander down the street and wave for Henry to follow him. Oh man, we gotta go clean up.

Yeah, that's fair. My armor is a bit mucked up.

That's not your armor, right?

It's my skin.

Oh, I don't even remember what I sound like. It's been a long day.

Yeah. So we'll do a quick kind of Daniel Mall.

I just quietly sit down on the couch and light a cigarette.

I was gonna say and smoke a cigarette and sigh.

Yeah. So your excursion to the broken grid and the ruins of Old Detroit Windsor is over. You've returned to New Laszlo Experience Dinsmore's house, which you did not know if you would come back to after a side trek that perhaps provided more questions than answers. And that is where we will leave our adventure this evening. And next session we'll start with probably

breakfast at Experience's house, hopefully unwrapping our shiny new railgun, which we can't afford.

But I mean, some of these artifacts,

maybe they sell for a Pretty great.

True. Yeah.

At some point, we'll do a flashback about the two of them frolicking in the canal,

washing each other's back.

Is that a cyborg and a naked crazy. Yes, it is. Just walk away.

Just don't look. Don't make eye contact.

Whoa.

Troy.

You're getting real enthusiastic about washing my parts.

Working on my seduction man.

I mean, if you. If you could excite a cyborg, that's a skill, right?

Could I hear Gorska? No, no, no.

I was gonna say, can I hear Gorshkov saying I approve?

You know what? Yeah.

Gord's probably just shutting down now.

Olivia.

To be. Okay. All right. I'm just happy we survived.

Me. I legitimately thought Bronson was dead the moment he jumped in the hole.

Oh.

I thought I was dead the moment I left at her. Yeah.

Yeah. So as you all. I think it was Jacob that surmised she was there to recover some things and you got in the way. And so she had no idea who you guys were. She more interested in getting. Taking things out than. Than fighting.

And she only got some of it.

She did.

Somebody is collecting stored relics and magic items.

Super cool things. Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't have called us dead men.

Well, she's a bad guy.

We didn't know that.

I feel like you did.

Yeah, probably 100%.

She's a God. And you can't convince me otherwise.

Troy, not every woman who looks good is a God.

She has Darth Vader on one of her breasts. That's what I've been told.

So.

Use your criteria. That.

I mean, that's pretty compelling argument.

I mean, you know.

Yeah.

She was young. I thought it was cool.

So do we. Did we get any XP from this session?

Yes. You guys are gonna get 500 XP.

Oh, nice.

And should I add it to this?

I'll take care of it.

All right.

It's all good.

Can't wait till level three. I get another insanity.

I'm looking forward to getting my next elective skill. Or, sorry, Occ. Related skill. Because I'm totally going to take wrestling. Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

I can't believe I didn't have it, but that's all I've been doing. So.

You know, wrestling is one of the most underrated palladium skills.

Yeah, I'm going for it.

Grabbing on and just kicking.

Yep.

Yeah.

And actually, I'm gonna give you just looking through. So we'll say, actually, you're gonna get 750 XP. Oh, she was a major threat.

She did seem Like a. And we didn't kill her, but we.

And we stopped her from getting out with everything.

Yeah, you stopped her from getting out with everything.

And Bronson just nuked Nuke Tank Puppy.

Yeah.

Easily the best part of the episode.

Yeah. Now you have three of those bullets left.

So I. I occluded it from you, but I got the. I'm getting the feeling it's going to come up in this game, but my phobia is God's alien or otherwise.

Oh, that's not. That is bad.

Yeah, I didn't. It rolled it.

Oh, no.

It would have been like. I could have rolled, like, cats. That would have been the worst, but only slightly.

Well, either way, you're with him.

This is true.

Well, he just thinks he's a God. This whole game is about the war between the gods.

So all he's got to do is do something vaguely godlike when he's in a depressive state and we're fucked up.

Or a manic state, really.

Either way, you just have to make sure that I feel comfortable and supported by you guys when we go to fight the God.

Have you looked who you're surrounded by? You have a egotistical cat, a stoner Borg, and this sanctimonious asshole.

Hey, you know, the Borg is pretty uplifting, though.

The Borg is pretty uplifting.

Yeah.

But also, apparently that's a death wish.

And then I can lift heavy boxes up out of a hole in a barn.

That's powerful.

Yeah. So you guys were rolling each round that she was down there unattended. You were rolling to see which box.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we kept getting one and two.

The same box. And he's like, she's not picking up the same box again.

Yeah.

Well, folks, what Was this episode? 8. 8. 8. I think it's 8.

Gosh, it is 8. This is session 8.

Yeah, yeah.

And we could have totally wiped if we had really gone for the gusto.

Yeah, we could have. Oof.

So I was never going to say this in character, but thank fucking God y' all remembered you have ranged weapons. As the guy who only has ranged weapons, the fact that our default is tackle, it has been kind of challenging. I understand. But even the crazy is like, that's

because there was a baby of God in there. Get some distance. All right.

Yeah.

I mean, I think probably tackling her was the right idea in this particular instance. And giving brats and the shotgun turned out to be a great idea.

The best. You know, turns out. Crushing the farm. The barn, rather.

Yeah, yeah. Actually, it could have gone a lot worse. Yeah, yeah. But hey, we're still. We got to repair our shit. We really do. Kyle, thank you again for running this game for us. This is a delight.

Thank you.

Happy to do it.

And again, you're Spiel. Tell us about the podcast that you normally are on.

I am the main GM on the Bastard Quest podcast. We play lots of games, not riffs. We are playing Outgunned next. That's cool. Game about being basically an action movie. Action star. They have an expansion which is like World of Killers, I think, which is essentially John Wick.

Nice.

The rpg.

I'm in this weird position where I have that one but I don't have the main book.

Oh, nice. Yeah, very cool. Really good production values. I don't know anything about anything else that these guys have made the producers of Outgun, but I've read it through it and quite like it. So we're gonna give that one a run.

Excellent. And for folks who aren't happen to be unaware if you've made it this far, I don't know how you could be, but we'll do the rounds. I'm NPC. I'm playing Mr. Cat.

I'm just Jacob playing your favorite burnt out vet, Riley.

I'm Alex. And I'm playing Henry.

And I'm Sean. And I'm Troy. Probably both at the same time.

Sometimes it's hard to figure out who's shining through at any one moment. It's nice. Well folks, thanks for listening and we'll catch you in the next episode.

Starships Magic, Mystic Martial Arts Romance. All of these can be found in a Cloak of Blades by Isaac Sher. You might have heard my name before. I've done a lot of voiceover work for Breakfast Puppies and I've recently released my first novel. It's available on Amazon as an e book and paperback and you can get it for free if you have a Kindle unlimited subscription. I do hope you'll support my work as you're supporting Breakfast Puppies and it's been a pleasure talking with you today. Have a good one.

You've been listening to the Glitter Boys, a Palladium Books fan podcast. Glitter Boys, Rifts, the Megaverse and all other such topics are the property of Kevin Sambita and Palladium Books. Please buy all their stuff and help keep them in print and making more games. You can order [email protected] and their entire catalog is available digitally at drivethrurpg as well. Our opening music is 8 bit bass and lead by furbyguy from freesound.org this closing music is 8 bases Caravana by Philip Gross available at freemusicarchive.org all sound effects used are self made or acquired via Creative Commons Zero License. If you like what you have heard, find us on Twitter and Facebook as theglitter Boys. That's B O I s and check us out [email protected] glitterboys and also join us on the Breakfast Puppies network [email protected] slash discord. And if you want to help us out, please spread the word and help us build a community. Thanks again for listening. We'll catch you next time.

You are outside the well ruined that take.

That's an odd name for a farm, but carry on.

Okay, this is recording for gork of saying Russian word in period of extreme stress. Let's see. Tiovi tubilier tubil velia zavaya sistivi uruzivika activney genre viataku sia shafts obadia obitia obitia obitia.